+ 0004.

This blog is finally picking up. It may take longer than I thought to get where I want to be, but in the mean time, I appreciate everyone that has followed me and every sweet message I’ve gotten so far. I was close to deleting this account, but I’m glad that I stuck it out.

Because when the impact has been made, I just hope that people realize what I’ve been thinking about for months.

+ 0003.

Running this blog is opening my eyes to a different side of Tumblr that I never really took the time to see. I’m not sure if I should consider this lying to people, by not revealing who I am. But I feel as if this is the only way to get my point across that judgment has become a plague.

The only thing I’m worried about is making friends on this account, and then hurting them when they find out who I am. What if they hate the real me? I shouldn’t care, nor should I dwell over something that has yet to happen. But I don’t want to hurt anyone.

+ 0002.

It’s only been two days since I’ve started this blog, and I’m already feeling the desire to just delete. Because I’m realizing how rude people are on this website. If you’re not important, then no one cares about you and they treat you like complete shit.

On my domain account, no one treats me like this. It’s interesting to see the difference in people’s mannerisms towards you when you don’t have a shitload of followers and you’re really just a kid on a website. Most of these people that I’m asking to check out my blog, follow me on my other account and now on this blog, they ignore me and don’t give me the time of day.

It’s just weird.

+ 0001.

It’s strange being on the opposite end of the spectrum, just starting out, asking people to “check out my blog”. I have never asked anyone to check out my blog on my domain account. I feel a sense of pride being washed away, being turned down and most of all, completely ignored.

I realize how it feels now to be treated like just a number when I take the time to message someone. They just completely look me over without so much as a second thought. I wonder if they really knew who I was, if it’d change their perspective of me at all; or if I’d still be as meaningless.